Leadership Qualities that Matter
For decades, leadership has been defined by visibility, decisiveness, confidence, and control. Leaders were expected to push forward, manage performance, and keep things moving — often at any personal cost.
Yet many organisations are quietly struggling.
Burnout is increasing. Teams feel disconnected. Managers are overwhelmed. Clients sense emotional tension. Families absorb the pressure leaders carry home at the end of the day.
This isn’t a failure of intelligence, experience, or strategy.
It’s a deficit of emotional awareness.
In today’s complex and people-centred world, emotional awareness is no longer a soft skill. It is the foundation that determines whether leadership qualities support growth — or silently undermine it.
When people search for leadership qualities, they often expect a checklist:
• Confidence
• Communication
• Decision-making
• Integrity
• Resilience
These qualities matter — but they don’t operate in isolation.
Every leadership behaviour is delivered through a human nervous system. Leaders don’t just make decisions; they make decisions from an emotional state. They don’t just communicate information; they transmit emotions through signals — whether they intend to or not.
Without emotional awareness, leadership qualities become distorted:
• Confidence turns into defensiveness
• Decisiveness becomes reactivity
• Resilience becomes emotional suppression
• Communication becomes control rather than connection
With emotional awareness, those same qualities become stabilising, trustworthy, and effective.
Emotional awareness is the ability to notice, name, and regulate your internal emotional state — and understand how it impacts others.
This includes:
• Recognising emotional triggers
• Noticing stress responses in real time
• Understanding how pressure shapes behaviour
• Choosing responses instead of reacting automatically
Most leaders were never taught this.
They were trained to think faster, push harder, and stay strong — often at the expense of their nervous system.
Unprocessed emotional pressure doesn’t disappear. It leaks into meetings, emails, decision-making, and relationships.
Emotional awareness does not mean oversharing, losing authority, or becoming emotionally reactive.
It means:
• Internal regulation before external action
• Calm authority instead of emotional control
• Leadership without emotional fallout
Emotionally aware leaders don’t avoid difficult conversations. They handle them with greater clarity and impact.
The most effective leaders lead themselves first.
Self-leadership means noticing when you are stressed, rushed, overwhelmed, or emotionally overloaded - and understanding how that state affects your behaviour.
Without emotional awareness, leaders unconsciously offload pressure onto teams.
With emotional awareness, leaders create psychological safety, simply through how they show up.
Pressure is inevitable in leadership. Dysregulation is not.
Emotionally aware leaders can:
• Pause before responding
• Stay present during conflict
• De-escalate tension
• Hold steadiness when others are reactive
People do not follow titles. They follow nervous systems that feel safe to work with.
Empathy in leadership is often misunderstood.
It is not about rescuing, fixing, or absorbing everyone else’s emotions.
Emotionally aware empathy looks like:
• Listening without defensiveness
• Acknowledging emotional reality
• Holding boundaries without withdrawal
• Responding thoughtfully rather than reflexively
This is especially vital when supporting neurodivergent staff, stressed teams, or emotionally complex environments.
Communication is not just about what is said - it is about emotional tone.
Leaders who lack emotional awareness often say the right words from the wrong state.
Emotionally aware leaders communicate with:
• Consistency between words and energy
• Calm authority
• Clarity without intimidation
This reduces misunderstanding, defensiveness, and emotional friction.
Change rarely fails because of poor planning.
It fails because leaders underestimate the emotional impact of uncertainty.
Change triggers fear, loss of identity or roles, and resistance rooted in a need for safety - not stubbornness.
Emotionally aware leaders anticipate emotional responses and pace change in a way that people can actually integrate.
Leadership does not stop at the office door.
The emotional state you lead from at work comes home with you. Families feel it. Relationships absorb it. Health pays the price.
Emotional awareness supports not only professional leadership, but sustainable life leadership.
The future of leadership is not louder or faster.
It is:
• More regulated
• More emotionally intelligent
• More human
• More sustainable
Leaders who develop emotional awareness retain trust, navigate complexity, and create environments where people can think, contribute, and thrive.
Leadership is not measured only by results.
It is measured by how people feel after interacting with you.
Emotional awareness is not an optional leadership quality.
It is the foundation that allows every other leadership skill to work.
To find out more about your Leadership Qualities and how Mentoring can help you, check out Kay Reeve's Training Options and book onto a workshop or request a free discovery call.
In an exceptional event online on 13th November 2025, I launched my new book 30 Love Values as part of a combined event with my group the Self Help Bookshelf, and Davion Cares Foundation.
You can find details of 30 Love Values here, along with the launch interview from Oliver Marcelle, a relationship coach who praised the book highly.
This was not just a book launch for 30 Love Values, but a global online event on World Kindness Day, with Fundraising Effort for Davion Cares Foundation, caring for 62 children in Uganda.
Following the launch, we were joined by mystery guest Richard Crossman aka Santa Dundas, a Canadian actor, voiceover artist, and professional Santa, who joined us in full costume to support. Check out the video below, where Santa greeted the zoom audience, talking about the book launch, and talking to Ben Mukasa - Founder of Davion Cares, to support the fundraising efforts to help pay for one year's rent...
...so he has a roof to land on - and keep these children safe off the streets.
Other networking colleagues of mine from Silvatree and TTBCA - The Trusted Business Community Association (several who were present at the book launch event), are working on more fundraising events for food, clothing, education, healthcare, and more, on 4th December. Details Here
Of all the gratitude's I've shared this year, receiving a copy of the receipt to say the rent has been paid for the year is top of the list. I geniuinely share my gratitude to 'everyone' who helped at the event, attended on the night, and to those who couldn't come, but donated all the same. You have all helped keep a roof over the heads of 62 homeless children for another year.
Another reason I am so passionate about helping Ben, is his holistic approach to supporting these beautiful children, including providing mental health support and education, empowering them with the best possibilities for a successful future.
Anyone ordering a personalised greeting up to 15th December can still continue supporting Davion Cares. Find details at Santa Dundas
To Rory Lemon, Sue Bayley, Rick McKenzie, Andrew Crawford, Ben Mukasa, Nicholas and Jesse of Davion Cares, and all the amazing guests: Once again, a massive thank you to everyone who helped raise and donate funds for Davion Cares Foundation at the book launch for 30 Love Values.
Being a depression speaker, or as I prefer to call myself - an Emotional Awareness Expert, gets some very varied reactions. Some people laugh and tell me I should be a millionaire. others say "Couldn't you find something more interesting to talk about?" or "Your should do something that makes you happier."
I love what I do, and I never find it boring, or depressing. Helping other people is what most careers are based on. HOW we help other people is what gives us a job. WHY we choose to help other people, gives us a purpose.
Think about what your How and Why are based on. Why did I choose mine?
Having a child with ASD, who suffered suicidal depression for 12 years, I know how hard it was to get help. I've seen how it affected my son, myself, his father, and his sister. I know how it played out in interactions among the wider family, schools, with friends, and in society. I discovered how little anyone could or would support us, even with qualifications. No one had the 'right' answers or solutions.
My son was 20 years old, barely able to tell the day of the week, let alone live his life. I sat with him through another deep suicidal depression one night, for three hours. I was ready to call the mental-health unit that night, but I knew that no one could really help. As a parent I had felt powerless for years, dealing with my son's emotional outbursts and suicidal tendencies.
That night, a lighbulb went off in my head...
"My son can't understand his emotions - because he can't SEE them!"
That night was the last time my son ever talked about wanting to die. That was the beginning of my transformation as a parent, and to becoming a speaker, mentor, and trainer. I re-trained in public speaking, to talk about depression in neurodivergent teens and young adults.
That moment, I realised I needed to take a different approach. I started using colour, and drawing out HIS emotional language, to talk to him, and teach him how to understand his own emotions. He immediately started engaging in conversation instead of avoiding it. He became curious, and more self-aware. I went on to create a whole strategy, writing books, and create online courses.
Becoming a depression speaker was the most valuable job I could create, with my HOW and my WHY. This work led to my diagram of the Emotional Cycle, and the framework in my book Brain Unchained.
My first ever public speech about depression, was my TEDx Talk 'Tackling Teenage Depression' in 2017. Since then I have spoken in various small groups, countless zoom meetings and online workshops, training sessions, and mentoring programs. I've spoken at educational establishments from high school to university. More recently I spoke at a couple of local government funded events. These were for disability inclusion, and for health professionals working in collaboration.
For me it's exciting to see the hope on people's faces. To see their recognition that I've created a process they can connect with rapidly. A toolbox for talking that puts the power of transformation in the hands of parents, teachers, support workers and more.
For me the excitement is in seeing a movement of an emotional revolution coming together, one talk at a time. There's something magical about seeing the positive reactions in people, and hearing how people's lives are changing. All because of that lightbulb moment back in 2015 - sitting with my son when he was suicidal. To know that what we went through is helping others - that's my WHY.
What's really exciting for me is seeing ahead at the transformations yet to take place, and knowing the impact my work can have on the narrative of neurodivergent teen depression, through parenting, teaching, therapy, and workplace support.
I hear therapists, life-coaches, support workers, and parents, saying how they feel powerless to help those with the deepest depression.
How can a therapist help clients process emotions, when they don't know how to talk about their emotions? How can we get clients to connect with their self-awareness first?
It often results in weeks of therapy for a client to even open up. This can result in the client giving up, and walking away without healing emotionally. This happens more where therapies are limited sessions per client.
It is these therapist, life-coaches, support workers, and emotionally aware parents, that I am seeing the most enthusiasm from. The energy I get from professional people who know that current systems are missing something vital, astounds me. It's shocking to know that even with their best efforts, and skills, something still isn't hitting home in clients with depression. That's where I get excited, knowing I have NEW answers and solutions that hit the spot!
These professionals are the one's I'm seeing get excited that I have a way to fill that gap. |I have a way to help them, help their clients achieve self-awareness and emotional awareness, with a visual diagram of the emotional cycle.
As well as working 1-1 with clients, and running online workshops, I get excited at the idea of sharing this powerful strategy with larger audiences. I'm a confident speaker, with a powerful message, and inspiration in abundance.
If you have an event where you are looking for an innovative speaker who's creating an emotional revolution - then contact me for a and let's talk about your event needs.
Teenage anxiety is very common but that doesn't mean telling them it's ok to have anxiety and leaving them to suffer with it. When a teenager or any human being has anxiety, fear, panic, or any emotion that fits within this category, the best thing to do is help them understand the following points.
Let's break these down one at a time, and give you the tools to support them through this process...
Teenage anxiety in terms of emotions is the same as adult anxiety. It is a build up of fears and avoidances like worrying about being late for the bus or school. There are many things that to adults seem like a small concern, but to a child or teenager, these anxieties have built up over time due to negative experiences in the past - often repeatedly.
Anxiety is always about the future, from seconds ahead, to their whole life. Worrying that the teacher is walking in their direction, or that a parent is going to ask them to do chores - not in a requesting or respectful voice, but by demanding, shaming, or shouting.
Most teens hate being judged - at home, and in school - even if they don't say it. It is a persistently unpleasant feeling within the body, physically anticipating the next event. They worry about being judged for how they look, their body, their hair and their clothes. It makes them anxious about the things they say or their accent if they've moved location. Hormones, periods in girls, genital 'reactions' in boys, and gender issues, all add to the list of personal anxieties.
Good question! Why do they have all these anxieties? In short, they were taught to be anxious.
Most children are taught to be conscious about their looks. They are praised when they look nice, pretty, handsome, well kept - and that's ok. They are also taught that they need to brush their hair and teeth, wash their face - and that's ok too - in fact that's essential.
Being told they look scruffy, messy, dirty, or unhygienic, is where the damage starts. If it was said in a derogatory tone, shaming them into being clean and tidy, or blaming them for messing up their clean clothes - it likely stuck with their subconscious that they shouldn't feel judged. They believe this will happen again and again - because that's what grown ups do. They learn that life is about avoiding judgement! That's where anxiety stems from.
Apply this in schools with teens being judged for standing out of line, or being late for lessons. Being told they don't have their shirt buttoned up properly or tie on straight. It all adds up on top of parental judgement. Add in their own low self-worth when they're mocked for asking questions or speaking up. Then there's the fear of answering questions, and being told they are wrong. For the class laughing at them. What about the homework results that are read out to the whole class - and they're in the bottom results yet again. Or even at the top, and other children judge out of jealousy.
Lastly, there's judgment from peers. At home from siblings, in family settings from other extended family, and in school from classmates and worst of all - close friends. There's nothing more anxiety driving that being bullied at school or being ousted by friends who judge, control, and manipulate. Of course at their age, they are not aware of the 'abuse' this puts on them. They are not aware that some so-called friends are not true friends. Even those with close friends, still face all the other anxiety above, and from the people around them at all times.
Well, you would like to think so, but there's a great deal to consider there too. They are facing all the following challenges and more, when going through teens from the age of 13 - 19 years old:
Address each of these and find out their anxiety levels of each:
This may include the following for MANY teenagers:
Abuse types (physical, verbal, sexual, self-abuse, blackmail, coercion, control, financial, health - such as Munchhausen's - and more). This list is not exhaustive, and yet sadly gives a clear idea of what many teenagers lives are truly like. A far cry from the idealistic picture painted by society - leaving many feeling low self-worth, unable to fit in, unloved, not listened to, and unvalued. Even as adults we need to feel valued.
To help any teenager or young adult, open up about their anxieties, fears and worries, they need a Safe Space for Talking. Safe Space it not a physical location as much as an opportunity to speak without fear of judgement. You can learn more about this in my online course at https://kayreeve.co.uk/courses/
When talking about emotions, it helps to recognise that every emotion is 'telling us something'. Teens rarely understand this, and only see anxiety as an unpleasant feeling that never seems to go away. They think anxiety presents at every opportunity, and seems to have no purpose other than making them feel bad about themselves. When talking to adults about their anxiety, teens are often told it's normal - everyone gets anxiety! This narrative is NOT helpful. All that can change, starting here!
YES everyone does get anxiety but they don't have to live with it persistently. It's not necessary to live with all that anxiety when they could be feeling happy, confident and motivated instead.
First of all, recognising that an emotion is there to help us learn something, starts to turn their avoidance into curiosity. Being curious about something can quickly open up conversation and have them seeking answers instead of spiraling deeper. There is however an art to understanding what those pesky feelings and emotions mean. This one is easier to address by taking my FREE Emotional Cycle Intro course. In just 10 minutes, you can help change a teenagers' life, by working through this with them, and talking about their emotions with true understanding from them that emotions have a pattern and a purpose.
Emotional Cycle Intro FREE online course for parenting teens and young adults.
Discover the power of a simple visual tool for emotional learning, in neurodivergent teens and young adults, and the tools for talking about emotions.
Once you and your teenager, or young adults that you are supporting, have understood the basics of the Emotional Cycle, it is time to find the cause of their current anxiety first. Acknowledge their strength in speaking about it. Work through a list of all the reasons they feel anxious. Ask them written down the list on paper, or help them by writing, as they talk. Now they can see what was in their head, objectively.
Looking at each anxiety and the cause, talk to them about why they felt that way in the first place. For example being late for the bus. If the anxiety was about being late, that was the cause. Now look for the root cause.
These are some helpful question to start with. Always avoid pressuring them to answer. This is about them being able to speak, and never about your needs or emotions.
Remember to hold 'Safe Space' throughout all the conversation.
Now you have an idea where there anxieties are coming from, it is time to talk about what happens if they encounter this situation again. It is time to 'equip them' with the 'tools' for managing their own emotions.
Again, keeping 'Safe Space' never give orders on how to handle something as that adds to the anxiety of failing you if they don't achieve it. Give them examples of how THEY could approach it. Talk through possible solutions and let them make the ultimate decision on which solution FEELS right for them.
Let them know that it's all 'learning' and it may take some practice and adjustments to learn new ways of processing daily life, that removes their anxieties, but with determination and repetition of safe space conversations, they will get there.
If you are able to work through multiple issues with them and support them long term, check out my book Brain Unchained on Kindle: Brain Unchained
If after talking through things, the teenager or young adult is still suffering high anxiety, there many be some other underlying issues such as diet, smoking or substance abuse, medications, or unresolved trauma. If any of these are present, seek further help from the right professionals. These types of anxiety tend not to resolve themselves through talking to a parent, teacher, or manager.
Teenage anxiety is happening for a reason. Teens are not equipped with the mental or social skills to resolve anxiety them self. You may have been unwittingly adding to it, and YOU have the power to help them create lasting change, starting here.
Turn Around my Son was a weekend creative music project of inspiration, using AI as a tool to add the parts I didn't have the skills for. It's my first ever song, and the first time I've used AI music. It sparked thoughts around being human - Is AI good or evil? Some media would have us believe it is.
This got me thinking how we can learn from it and pay the right mentality to teens and young adults.
My biggest business value is Being Human. There are two sides to that. Me being authentic and real. I'm not about generically created AI content in a faceless money grabbing business. I value creating a real connection with you, through various channels, using various tools. In the background I use a little AI, but you wouldn't know how or where because it assists me in small task. I don't use AI to create key content like this. This is ME.
Secondly, my whole business is about teaching others to remain human in a world filled with technology, machinery, processes, and now AI. To do that, I have to truly consider the impact each of these have in many ways. As an emotional awareness expert, there is much for me to observe and study about emotional reactions to AI. It is my drive to remain human in coexistence with everything new, in a world that's rapidly changing.
My quote is "Mastering Life is all about Mastering Change."
So how can we accept Change, without changing ourselves?
The answer is, we can't.
Or can we?
OK maybe not the answer you expected but let me explain why...
Let's go back a few years to the invention of the knife. First they were flint, then metal. They are early tools that massively changed humanity. So how are people's emotions affected by knives?
The point being, that humans both love and hate knives. How they use them is an individual choice. How they react to knives is personal based on circumstances. I personally don't like people possessing weapons at home, as they are a temptation during emotional rages. I've been on the receiving end of that, held at knife point, but someone who collects them, wouldn't see it from my point of view.
When something goes wrong with AI, people react to it as a whole and call AI evil, but people don't stop using kitchen knives, when other people have been killed or hurt by them. Why should AI be any different?
Next comes a club or hammer, and same pattern of behaviour. People change every time something new becomes viral or household, yet the reactions, still fit with the patterns above.
Each human will find their own way to use or avoid using every new invention. Each invention generates the same pattern of emotions too. Embrace it, react to it, avoid it, fight against it, remain neutral, or feel overwhelmed by it. That's really the only options there are. Put that with the options above, and there's human change, where a world is evolving rapidly, yet humans are still dealing with change in exactly the same way as thousands of years ago.
Emotions are not taught, we are expected to inherently learn them from our elders, peers, tutors, and life.
As a result, each emotional reaction creates an expected and unavoidable pattern of counter-change. For example, the human reaction to the negative use of knives, rulted in creating longer knives called swords. Then guns, now even nuclear weapons are being challenged. Each change being a ripple effect of the person who chose to first use a knife as a weapon again fellow man. Now we are at nuclear weapons.
What about the invention of money? Same pattern of fraud, self serving & surviving, to skills in accountants, charities helping others, creativity in investments, and the big sales in banking and loans.
Chemistry turned into poisons, potions, medications, and recipes for health and wellbeing, along with big pharmaceutical sale companies. (Big rabbit hole to avoid)
Computers instantly created hackers, scammers and more harmful intent as per human patterns throughout history. Then comes the generic users, gamers, and those who found their purpose in computers in so many ways. Computers have taken the world by storm, even integrated into hand held phones, yet we are still the same humans following the same old patterns in how we use them.
So with AI rapidly integrating into every device we own, should we be be panicked? Should we truly see this as the rise of the machines coming to condition us and take over the world?
NOOOoooooooooooo!!!
Am I about to be swallow up by AI and change my ethics? Equally no. 
Mastering Change - where does that fit in? 
Sometimes the best way to accept the changes we cannot control is to change our perspective. It's all about point of view, and my expertise is helping people see that different point of view.
Let's look at AI for a moment as just another set of tools, another change to humanity, and another repeat pattern in human behaviour. After all it's human created, and can be programmed or reprogrammed by humans.
There's one tool I missed out till now for a reason - INFORMATION. This is another tool that the media use to scare and control us. A perspective we all know but let's put that into perspective of the human patterns for a moment. Thinks about the ways people use information, just like the pattern of knives.
The real question is if AI is any more dangerous than a knife? Or is it the person using it?
Any of the tools we've talked about can also be harmful to the person using them, as well as harmful to others. AI is just another tool with exactly the same potential.
I see no difference in anything that has changed in this world except on thing.... culture. How information and instructions are passed on. How information is shared, and what we, as individual humans choose to make of our own beliefs from centuries and millennia of misinformation. Yet culture still remains the driver of many beliefs in every community. Culture's are also tools to create communities, that also both heal and harm, depending on perspective yet again.
Summary in short: It's people that do good or bad things with the tools they use. The tools themselves just exist. They are neither good nor bad till they are in human hands.
What I really want you to ask yourself is - which pattern of human behaviour do you follow?
When AI is already here, its neither good nor bad. It just is. What really counts, like a knife, money, and everything human created, it how we each choose to use it as a tool.
We are still human and always will be. What we really need to change is emotional awareness.
Yesterday, I wrote some lyrics about my son's journey with depression, from a mum's perspective. I want our journey and the strategy I use to help others. Music is an powerful way to connect and share information. I could write the lyrics but don't have the skills to turn it into a song. Nor the funding to get someone else to do it. So I used a tool that has never been available before - Suno AI music generator.
Is that good or bad?
We use generators to provide energy, and factories to create food and medication, so why is music frowned upon, if it actually helps someone? A creation that would otherwise not exist.
My creation does not stop anyone playing an instrument, performing in theatre or concerts, and it doesn't stop people wanting to go to live concerts to follow their favourite band or singer. AI has NO place in that arena - or does it?
Watch ANYMA and see how a single DJ commands the stage with AI and automation. This is no different than the computer playing synthesized and pre-programmed music.
I'm no artist, and I don't have the skills to turn my lyrics into a song, so it would sit here unseen. I would not hire a musician or singer. Therefore I have not stolen anything from anyone. This is my single creation, to help and inspire you.
I am still a human being, creative, using AI with purpose.
How will your view of AI change now? How many other things will fall into a new perspective for you?
I hope you find your place with or without AI, avoiding frustration and anger, finding peace, and accepting your own perspective with purpose.
Each week I talk about parenting teens tips in my YouTube video podcast.
I talk through parenting struggles and challenges. I explain how teens, or young adults, can be affected by Life, and unwittingly by parents. Growing up, education, relationships, exams, and peer pressure all take a toll on their mental health and yet the solution is easier than you may imagine...
My parenting teens podcast creates positive progress for teenagers rapidly, through awareness and engaging conversations. I share personal development tips to help you can build trust, and grow together. Learn how different personal growth ideas support different challenges. Learn how to rebuild trust with your teenager through 'safe space' conversations. Also find out how using these tips can help them avoid the stigma of therapy and create natural healing at home.
This blame-free approach to parenting teens, creates the best possible future for you and your family. Imagine reducing stress, anxiety, and conflict - for you, your teen, and your family just by listening and talking. View the latest episode here about teens and parents, finding a way forwards, past denial. How to overcome the barriers of teens being in denial, and how to recognise denial in your parenting style.
I use visual learning elements, which is why I prefer to record my podcast episode on YouTube. It's hard to 'show' something on audio only. If you prefer audio podcasts, you can leave it running in the background, or listen through headphones while you continue what you are doing.
For more info and skills for parenting teens and young adults, check out my course online.
Check back weekly for more Parenting Teens Podcasts.
Let me start with WHY I wrote a self help book for teens. I've been there, overwhelmed by parenting a teen with emotional dysregulation, deep depression, suicidal, and verging psychosis. I so wanted to help him, and could not find the right strategy, teacher, doctor, counselor, or therapists to help. He was still suicidal after 12 years. NO ONE deserves that!
Oh boy could I have done with a really good self help book for Teens! That's why I finally created my own strategy for helping my teenage son, and as a result, wrote Brain Unchained. He loved reading, and would have found great benefit in this instead of throwing other books back in disgust at their empty promised and ambiguous methods for emotional transformation. He needed something more solid and visual.
I made sure that Brain Unchained has a lot to offer everyone neurodivergent or not. Whether you are feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, and reluctant to see a therapist, or finding it difficult to get help. If you're unsure about the stigma of therapy, this is education. That's why I call this a self-help book, not a therapy book.
You could also be feeling great and on top of the world, yet still want to work on your social skills, find your purpose, or learn about empathy skills. This helps you communicate better with family, friends, and improve job skills at what ever level you start.
Not all teenagers have access to adult help. Some parents are too busy to offer support or the NHS services take too long. Teachers may not notice the support you need, or have time help exactly when you need it. You may also be someone who prefers to process things quietly in your room.
With 238,000 registered counselors and psychologists in the UK, that's one per 289 people - awesome! Yet 1 in 5 people are going through a mental health crisis, still leaving so many people without much needed help. That's without those who suffer in silence and don't ask for help.
Brain Unchained gives you a chance to take back control. It gives you visual learning and knowledge about your core emotions, so you can understand why you feel lost, angry, anxious, and even happy.
Each chapter has questions that will help you think about your personal circumstances, and give you the tools to take the muddle of thoughts in your head, and look at them objectively, with solution seeking exercises throughout the book.
The choice is up to you depending on your circumstances, however I have created Brain Unchained to be able to help everyone. We all have the same emotional cycle what ever age, sex, culture, or education level we have. We are all human beings, and that's what Brain Unchained teaches. The art of understanding human emotions.
No matter what other challenges you have, and what other books you may need, Brain Unchained is foundational learning that will power up all other self help books with the emotional awareness strategies. For example, someone with ADHD, still has the same emotional cycle as any other person. They will benefit from books about ADHD, but it doesn't teach them the emotional awareness strategies. Brain Unchained is the blueprint that helps you in all areas of life.
In Brain Unchained you get step by step learning. You learn about feeling lost, where to start, and how to think about your emotions in terms of colour. The visual then gives you a map to learn where your emotions are now, and where you want to be.
Next you learn why emotions change. Did you know there are only five types of change possible? Each of these is covered in depth, giving you exercises along the way to track your journey.
Finally you will learn about Root Causes. Everything that changes, happens for a reason. Knowing this helps you decide what to do about that change. Some changes are good and you accept them, but what do you do if there is a negative change in your life? Again, five root causes are covered in depth, and then you learn to turn them into solutions.
Now you have a strategy for LIVING that will last your whole life.
Brain Unchained is available on Amazon worldwide, in paperback (Colour), paperback (B&W interior) and on Kindle. Click Here to go to my Amazon Profile
Because I believe every teenager and young adult should have easy access to emotional awareness, I have put the Kindle price down to just £2.99 which costs no more than a good cup of coffee.
Kindle books can also be downloaded straight to a smartphone, making this book even more powerful, having it at hand for permanent reference in your pocket or handbag. If you need to learn how to do this, check out this video...
Yes! As if having a self help book on your phone isn't fantastic enough, you can even take notes digitally, rather than writing in the paperback, or carrying a separate notebook around. If you don't want anyone else seeing your notes, for example you're one of 12 children in the home and have no privacy, then having the ability to take notes on your Kindle is powerful. Plus they are easier to update as you grow.
If you want to learn to take notes using your Kindle on your phone, laptop, or tablet, here's how...
Will you be using Kindle more now? Better still will you be buying Brain Unchained on Kindle?
This 100 page journal is for those who like to write their reflections down, and create a journey to look back on for seeing progress. This journal is a way to take your learning from Brain Unchained - the self help book for teens, and turn it into good habits, or a personal development process, at any time.
Each page has two spider charts. These represent the Five Changes, and the Five Solutions that are taught in the Brain Unchained framework.
This is followed by a simple daily journal section for you to jot down your thoughts about your day's challenges, barriers, resources, and solutions. It gives you a practical process for failing forwards, never giving up, and seeing your thoughts objectively as you progress.
They say every new habit takes 90 days to build, so I have created 100 pages, ensuring that you have room for wiggle, and to ensure you new thoughts and feelings stay with you. You can always get another copy later and repeat, alongside the main self help book.
If you're still not sure about the self help book, try the FREE Emotional Cycle Intro course - it takes just ten minutes, and see if the strategies in Brain Unchained self help book for Teens, and the journal, could be of benefit to you.
This is MY story: I have to agree with this 100% as "Who are you?" has always been the hardest question for me to answer until recently.
I had saved my son from depression, written a book - Brain Unchained - about Emotional Awareness, yet never recognised my own challenges with ADHD till 3 years ago, now realising I may be dyslexic too, of the processing and dyscalculia kinds - not words - being an author and book mentor. Although it explains why I've never been a speed reader like my son.
Yet here I am, somehow, with my determination to continue what I started - despite my challenges - I just never understood why everything seemed so much harder for me to learn, or grasp. Now I know why.
Three years ago, I found myself having no sense of self identity, when the divorce papers arrived. I was expected to go back to my maiden name but I didn't want to due to my book, business name, children, and other reasons. It felt like such an internal conflict at the time. I knew 'who I was not' any more - wife, stay at home mum, career person - but who was I? I felt so LOST!
After losing my job, marriage and home, with the children grown up and moved out too, my back went big time with 4 discs deteriorating, hitting literal nerves, while my nervous system was in overwhelm emotionally too! Of course - I hit depression as everyone has a limit, and I'd been holding up, over my limit, for years. I developed other health issues, and it took time to reinvent myself. To build my self-worth back up piece by piece. To get moving again physically. And then...
November 2023, I had more mental decline despite the depression no longer being there. I could no longer communicate properly. Words didn't exist between my thoughts and my mouth - I had developed Aphasia - loss of word recall. It was like my mouth opened but the universe was blank of words and I was living in an empty chasm between thoughts and speech.
This mental confusion was terrifying! I had something wrong but didn't know what. My daughter was so concerned, she took me to the GP. I failed a basic memory test. I was sent for an urgent MRI scan on my brain, plus testes for stroke and heart attack urgently.
After testing me for early Alzheimer's, nothing showed. My G.P. was lost for answers too, telling me to sort my mental health out first, offering me antidepressants - but I wasn't depressed. I was sitting there thinking - I've written a book about emotional awareness - this is NOT depression!!!
Honestly, I thought it was the end of any hope in 'finding the real me'. I thought it was the last month or two ahead where I might know anything, the way my health was declining, and through 2024 was going to be my last year on earth - an no one could save me! It felt like I was losing myself beyond recognition, plus the weight piled on regardless of healthy eating. What next? I was lost and no one knew the way forward.
It was the strategy I developed to teach my son Emotional Awareness, that now saved me. The models of change and mastering change, that are in Brain Unchained, became my own guide. I kept going through the H.E.L.P.S. model, from the second chapter of Brain Unchained. This was the strategy that coined my quote...
"MASTERING LIFE IS ALL ABOUT MASTERING CHANGE'
...If I wasn't recovering despite all the changes I HAD made, I was missing something!
H.E.L.P.S. Health was the one change left after eliminating everything else. I knew was the cause, but what was the doctor missing? What was the Root Cause? Emotions, Logic, Physical, and Social all needed work too, but they were because of my Health, not the cause of it.
NEVER GIVE UP: had been my mantra for my son, through 12 years of his suicidal depression. Now I said the same for myself. Never give up! I kept searching for new answers, and following my instinct, even though the G.P. had refused allergy testing, I ordered an online blood test as a last resort. It tested for allergies and intolerances, of around 150 foods - which after three days of crying over the results and barely able to focus - I worked out as 9 food groups, to help me learn and remember what to avoid.
2 weeks before Christmas, the results arrived. It said I am allergic to 9 major food 'groups'. 
Gluten, Dairy, Soy, Nuts, Rice, Potato, Meat, Fish...
Plus numerous fruits & Veg that react like an allergy to Birch Pollen.
Major dietary changes were needed once the tears of sheer shock, and relief at having answers, settled. I figured out what I could no longer eat, then focused on what I could. As a result, I spent my first ever Xmas day 'alone' rather than be around all that tempting food, and social pressure. I was actually quite content and peaceful being alone - finally healing.
Unbelievably in 3 days of food changes, 16 years of relentless IBS began to settle. My mental health took a lot longer but changes were evident within days.
2024
January I joined a local writing class to rebuild my mind, and communication skills. I was scared but I embraced it anyway.
February: I took on a new client, who desperately sought my help, despite knowing my own challenges.
March I started rebuilding my website, and recording courses online (with lots of editing out big speech gaps). I could script, read, and edit as a way around my challenges - for now.
June I was talking better, but I tried recording a short story on video, and still couldn't. Again my words vanished and my mind was empty. But I wasn't ready to quit!
July I joined my first online network meeting and met Rory LemonAid Osteopath, plus I released another 5 books!
September I started book mentoring, and helped other Self Publishing, Self Help authors, get their books out into the world. Check out the Self Help Bookshelf channel on YouTube
Since August 2024 Rory's Mental Fitness and holistic Coaching have helped me start working on the rest of my barriers and healing. Focused on lymph flow exercises, plus strategies for managing ADHD, progress has been incredible! Now I don't get stuck for words. I have focus, and flexibility around ADHD burnout, forgiving myself for resting in the day, or working late at night. And I appreciate ME as I am, plus I am moving better too.
Now here we are with a Self-Help Bookshelf Facebook group, for self help authors and readers to connect, just four months on! That's an unexpected sideline added to my mission. It has created an amazing journey since early September.
Rory's coaching is also the result of overcoming many personal barriers and a NeuroCreative mind, as prominent in his upcoming book NeuroCreative Recollections.
Last week, I formatted 150 pages of Emma Oldershaw Author 's book, 'Critical Parenting Reframed'. She's incredible, and also overcome many barriers to be here.
Both authors are writing and publishing under MY mentorship.
I've also started a NEW YouTube channel for the group so you can follow their interviews and podcasts...!
https://youtube.com/@self-help-bookshelf?si=lzyJGdfndF8OLo_R
I feel like I've come back from feeling totally lost as an individual, and from feeling lost to health challenges seemingly beyond my control. I finally found my collaborators, my guides, my answers, and the changes I needed to make for the better, physically and mentally.
Socially, it is great feeling like I have found people who get me, and appreciate me for exactly who I am. We have all guided each other, and looking for new members to join our book group so we can guide you too, through connecting with authors who can help you, or maybe self publishing your own book with us.
What a turn around since last November!!!!
Today in November 2024 'I AM' 2 stone lighter than when I got those results in December.
I am;
a survivor
healing
putting myself first
confident, focused, and powerful
here and I have a purpose
I have a clear vision, mission, and value Being Human
I am now starting the next steps - supporting parents - with teens affected by long term or suicidal depression, aggravated by neurodivergent traits.
♡ I have books, courses, and occasional workshops.
♡ My premium program is invite only, and limited to 6 clients per year. If you want to know more, contact me to request details.
I am also an innovator, creator, and nurturer, with leadership skills, and a lead from the front attitude. I am a public speaker who loves to inspire. Yet I'm still mother wolf - parent and grandparent, watching over my pack, but I am also emotionally free. I am many things, and they are all part of me, except one thing...
I am No Longer Lost!
[update] 2025 is also proving to bring further growth, with my training programs ready to run, presentations being delivered, and clients signing up to learn from me. I AM BACK!
Want the same inspiration for something you're going through?
Go to https://kayreeve.co.uk and book a free 30 minute discovery call with me.
Hugs & Healing
Kay Reeve
Young children often struggle to consider how their words affect others. Caught in their own thought processes, they may react defensively or speak bluntly, unintentionally hurting their friends or family members. This can be especially true for children as young as four, five, or six years old, who may not yet have the emotional tools to reflect on how their words impact those around them.
This post was inspired by Adam Clowes, and a post on LinkedIn regarding ADHD and people being emotionally dismissive. It led to a conversation about teaching younger children how not to speak hurtfully, and I recalled how I handled this with my children and grandchildren at times.
So, how can we help children develop the skill of mindful communication? In this blog post, we'll explore a practical and gentle approach to teaching young children how to reflect on their words while also protecting their own emotions.
The first and most important step in helping children understand the power of their words is to listen to them without judgment. When a child explains a difficult conversation they've had with another child, it's essential to pay close attention to their perspective. Try to understand why they felt the need to be blunt or defensive, even if they didn’t intend to be hurtful. By offering a non-judgmental space, you're allowing them to express their emotions and thoughts openly, which is a crucial first step in helping them develop empathy and self-awareness.
Once you’ve listened to your child, it's time to engage them in a reflective conversation. A gentle, curiosity-driven question can help them start thinking about the impact of their words. Ask them, "How would you feel if someone said the same thing to you?" This simple question invites the child to shift their perspective and consider how their words might have felt if they were on the receiving end.
By prompting this reflection, you're helping the child take a step back and understand the emotional weight of their words. The goal isn't to make them feel guilty but to cultivate an awareness of how communication can affect others.
After the child reflects on how they would feel if the situation were reversed, ask them how they would have preferred you to respond if you were in the other person’s shoes. This question encourages the child to think of alternative ways to handle a similar situation in the future.
Encouraging children to come up with their own solutions builds their problem-solving skills and fosters emotional intelligence. Instead of simply telling them what they did wrong, you're guiding them to find their own answers, which empowers them to handle future conflicts more effectively.
In the final step, use the child’s response to reflect on how they could approach a similar situation next time. Ask them to think about how they could communicate more kindly or constructively. This reflection helps solidify the lesson, making it easier for the child to apply it in future interactions.
By following this four-step questioning process, you help draw your child’s mind out of their immediate problem and encourage them to view the situation more objectively. This process teaches children to experience the situation from another person’s perspective and to think about emotions—not just their own, but those of others.
Ultimately, this approach helps children develop compassion, which isn’t about being weaker or giving in. In fact, it often requires strength to stay calm, think carefully, and respond responsibly. Even a child as young as five has the potential to grow in this way, learning valuable life skills through constructive conversations and open communication. With patience and practice, you can help your child understand the impact of their words and foster empathy from an early age.
It is rare for me to talk about strategies for younger children, because my business model, books, and courses, are aimed the teenage market. One the other hand, my emotional awareness strategy works across every age group. If you have young children and love the idea of raising them with Emotional Awareness and Empathy, check out Brain Unchained and get ahead by studying the strategies for yourself first.
My business value is Being Human, yet credit in part goes to AI for taking this concept in verbalized transcript - and re-writing it in a readable manner. This is the first time I have used AI to level-up my post, while the strategy mentioned, for helping children build Empathy skills, is entirely my own scattered thoughts and experiences.
Mindfulness is about letting your mind take a break from the stresses in your life, and doing something mentally relaxing. These free mindfulness colouring tips help you create a beautiful way to let this happen, especially when you add in a few extra tricks to relax all of your senses.
When you are working or busy, studying, or just on the go, your brain is in motivation mode, producing adrenaline for focus and dopamine for rewarded happiness. Being in stress mode produces cortisol. These are important but your brain also needs times when it relaxes, and allows serotonin to step forward. When your brain is allowed to relax, it switches from problems solving, or fear based stress, to creativity mode. Then when you lease expect it, you have your brightest ideas of all times. So it makes sense to proactively nurture your mind this way.
There are various forms of mindful colouring, from pictures to patterns, grids, geometric colouring sheets and more. Think about which you like the idea of today. It if is picture, do you want flowers, objects, foods, animals, or full page pattern prints? The options are limitless.
You can download and print individual mindfulness colouring sheets on this website, or you can purchase whole books online or in the high street.
You can use a simple set of colouring pencils or felt pens if starting out, to see how you like the process of colouring. If you wish to progress, there are many different types of pens available, from fine tip felts, to brush tips, water colour pencils, pastels, or you could try art pencils with black and white shading.
If you print yourself on stronger card as opposed to paper, why not try paints too. You can also print on different colour cards, to create different effects.
This is the creative part that you can experiment with until you find a way that suits you. Maybe start with a pattern, and block colour each shape. When you are better, try shading, or blending colours according to the overall pattern. Another option is to doodle patterns into larger shapes or backgrounds, rather than block colouring them. Look on YouTube for examples of what others do for inspiration.
Colouring can be done at home quietly, or at a table during a break time. Sitting in the garden, or park during summer. With a group of friends with coffee and cake included. Mindful Colouring supplies are often found in libraries too, so people can sit quietly for time out.
Depending on the length of time you have free, a few minutes here and there is ok, or taking an hour to colour on a day off, is all helpful in creating that balance over time. Some people like to include mindful colouring in their daily journaling, while others like it as a stand alone project. What you choose is entirely your choice.
Again, this depends on the time you have available. If you supplies are always ready on a desk, it is easy to squeeze in a few minutes between other tasks, or if you have to stash supplies away, then make colouring sessions a little longer and worthwhile. Anything from five minutes to five hours or more is acceptable. Daily, weekly, or even once a month. It is all about finding a time to let your mind have a little break from daily stress.
Colouring is all about using your visual senses, by selecting colours, looking at patterns, following lines and filling in shapes. Mindful colouring can also be about other senses when you add in these tips. Adapt these if you are going to be outside...
#1 Hearing: Put on some relaxing music, or the radio, and let go of all other voices in your head.
#2 Smell: Put on a candle, incense stick, or make a fresh coffee to entice your sense of smell.
#3 Taste: Chewing gum, or sipping a cool drink are two ways of bringing taste into your mindful actions.
#4 Touch: Feel the paper, the pens in your hand, the table surface your seat and more for mindful contact.
Now you are set to start your mindfulness colouring, and don't forget to keep your best images together, so another day you can simply enjoy looking back over them for more relaxation.
Remember to check out the latest in the shop.
If you want more tips for daily mindfulness, check out the course 10 Steps to Beginning Mindfulness
Let me know if these Free Mindfulness Colouring Tips helped you, or share your completed image on my Facebook Page.
Enjoy these two FREE mindfulness colouring pages to get you started.
