This is MY story: I have to agree with this 100% as "Who are you?" has always been the hardest question for me to answer until recently.
I had saved my son from depression, written a book - Brain Unchained - about Emotional Awareness, yet never recognised my own challenges with ADHD till 3 years ago, now realising I may be dyslexic too, of the processing and dyscalculia kinds - not words - being an author and book mentor. Although it explains why I've never been a speed reader like my son.
Yet here I am, somehow, with my determination to continue what I started - despite my challenges - I just never understood why everything seemed so much harder for me to learn, or grasp. Now I know why.
Three years ago, I found myself having no sense of self identity, when the divorce papers arrived. I was expected to go back to my maiden name but I didn't want to due to my book, business name, children, and other reasons. It felt like such an internal conflict at the time. I knew 'who I was not' any more - wife, stay at home mum, career person - but who was I? I felt so LOST!
After losing my job, marriage and home, with the children grown up and moved out too, my back went big time with 4 discs deteriorating, hitting literal nerves, while my nervous system was in overwhelm emotionally too! Of course - I hit depression as everyone has a limit, and I'd been holding up, over my limit, for years. I developed other health issues, and it took time to reinvent myself. To build my self-worth back up piece by piece. To get moving again physically. And then...
November 2023, I had more mental decline despite the depression no longer being there. I could no longer communicate properly. Words didn't exist between my thoughts and my mouth - I had developed Aphasia - loss of word recall. It was like my mouth opened but the universe was blank of words and I was living in an empty chasm between thoughts and speech.
This mental confusion was terrifying! I had something wrong but didn't know what. My daughter was so concerned, she took me to the GP. I failed a basic memory test. I was sent for an urgent MRI scan on my brain, plus testes for stroke and heart attack urgently.
After testing me for early Alzheimer's, nothing showed. My G.P. was lost for answers too, telling me to sort my mental health out first, offering me antidepressants - but I wasn't depressed. I was sitting there thinking - I've written a book about emotional awareness - this is NOT depression!!!
Honestly, I thought it was the end of any hope in 'finding the real me'. I thought it was the last month or two ahead where I might know anything, the way my health was declining, and through 2024 was going to be my last year on earth - an no one could save me! It felt like I was losing myself beyond recognition, plus the weight piled on regardless of healthy eating. What next? I was lost and no one knew the way forward.
It was the strategy I developed to teach my son Emotional Awareness, that now saved me. The models of change and mastering change, that are in Brain Unchained, became my own guide. I kept going through the H.E.L.P.S. model, from the second chapter of Brain Unchained. This was the strategy that coined my quote...
"MASTERING LIFE IS ALL ABOUT MASTERING CHANGE'
...If I wasn't recovering despite all the changes I HAD made, I was missing something!
H.E.L.P.S. Health was the one change left after eliminating everything else. I knew was the cause, but what was the doctor missing? What was the Root Cause? Emotions, Logic, Physical, and Social all needed work too, but they were because of my Health, not the cause of it.
NEVER GIVE UP: had been my mantra for my son, through 12 years of his suicidal depression. Now I said the same for myself. Never give up! I kept searching for new answers, and following my instinct, even though the G.P. had refused allergy testing, I ordered an online blood test as a last resort. It tested for allergies and intolerances, of around 150 foods - which after three days of crying over the results and barely able to focus - I worked out as 9 food groups, to help me learn and remember what to avoid.
2 weeks before Christmas, the results arrived. It said I am allergic to 9 major food 'groups'. 
Gluten, Dairy, Soy, Nuts, Rice, Potato, Meat, Fish...
Plus numerous fruits & Veg that react like an allergy to Birch Pollen.
Major dietary changes were needed once the tears of sheer shock, and relief at having answers, settled. I figured out what I could no longer eat, then focused on what I could. As a result, I spent my first ever Xmas day 'alone' rather than be around all that tempting food, and social pressure. I was actually quite content and peaceful being alone - finally healing.
Unbelievably in 3 days of food changes, 16 years of relentless IBS began to settle. My mental health took a lot longer but changes were evident within days.
2024
January I joined a local writing class to rebuild my mind, and communication skills. I was scared but I embraced it anyway.
February: I took on a new client, who desperately sought my help, despite knowing my own challenges.
March I started rebuilding my website, and recording courses online (with lots of editing out big speech gaps). I could script, read, and edit as a way around my challenges - for now.
June I was talking better, but I tried recording a short story on video, and still couldn't. Again my words vanished and my mind was empty. But I wasn't ready to quit!
July I joined my first online network meeting and met Rory LemonAid Osteopath, plus I released another 5 books!
September I started book mentoring, and helped other Self Publishing, Self Help authors, get their books out into the world. Check out the Self Help Bookshelf channel on YouTube
Since August 2024 Rory's Mental Fitness and holistic Coaching have helped me start working on the rest of my barriers and healing. Focused on lymph flow exercises, plus strategies for managing ADHD, progress has been incredible! Now I don't get stuck for words. I have focus, and flexibility around ADHD burnout, forgiving myself for resting in the day, or working late at night. And I appreciate ME as I am, plus I am moving better too.
Now here we are with a Self-Help Bookshelf Facebook group, for self help authors and readers to connect, just four months on! That's an unexpected sideline added to my mission. It has created an amazing journey since early September.
Rory's coaching is also the result of overcoming many personal barriers and a NeuroCreative mind, as prominent in his upcoming book NeuroCreative Recollections.
Last week, I formatted 150 pages of Emma Oldershaw Author 's book, 'Critical Parenting Reframed'. She's incredible, and also overcome many barriers to be here.
Both authors are writing and publishing under MY mentorship.
I've also started a NEW YouTube channel for the group so you can follow their interviews and podcasts...!
https://youtube.com/@self-help-bookshelf?si=lzyJGdfndF8OLo_R
I feel like I've come back from feeling totally lost as an individual, and from feeling lost to health challenges seemingly beyond my control. I finally found my collaborators, my guides, my answers, and the changes I needed to make for the better, physically and mentally.
Socially, it is great feeling like I have found people who get me, and appreciate me for exactly who I am. We have all guided each other, and looking for new members to join our book group so we can guide you too, through connecting with authors who can help you, or maybe self publishing your own book with us.
What a turn around since last November!!!!
Today in November 2024 'I AM' 2 stone lighter than when I got those results in December.
I am;
a survivor
healing
putting myself first
confident, focused, and powerful
here and I have a purpose
I have a clear vision, mission, and value Being Human
I am now starting the next steps - supporting parents - with teens affected by long term or suicidal depression, aggravated by neurodivergent traits.
♡ I have books, courses, and occasional workshops.
♡ My premium program is invite only, and limited to 6 clients per year. If you want to know more, contact me to request details.
I am also an innovator, creator, and nurturer, with leadership skills, and a lead from the front attitude. I am a public speaker who loves to inspire. Yet I'm still mother wolf - parent and grandparent, watching over my pack, but I am also emotionally free. I am many things, and they are all part of me, except one thing...
I am No Longer Lost!
[update] 2025 is also proving to bring further growth, with my training programs ready to run, presentations being delivered, and clients signing up to learn from me. I AM BACK!
Want the same inspiration for something you're going through?
Go to https://kayreeve.co.uk and book a free 30 minute discovery call with me.
Hugs & Healing
Kay Reeve
