What is different between EQ and IQ, or Emotional Awareness vs Emotional Intelligence? Are they the same thing? Can the both be learned? So many questions! Let's start with EQ.
There are many other terms used for EQ including
They are all ways to understand emotions and to learn ways of regulating them.
Emotional Awareness is the least used term, yet it is the foundation of becoming aware of your own emotions. It helps you understand what emotions feel like. How your own actions and reactions affect your own life and that of others around you. Emotional Awareness begins with learning to become self-aware and grows continually with experience.
Emotional awareness helps build basic social skills like empathy and understanding. It is crucial to strong relationships at school, work and at home. Children usually learn this through story books, nursery rhyme, and from family. For children with additional challenges such as ASD, ADHD, or Abuse, emotional control can be harder to learn naturally.
Higher levels of emotional management are referred to as Emotional intelligence. The word intelligence suggests it being a 'learned' topic. It means that the person has studied, implemented, and achieved in areas such as friendships, work relationships. They can moderate their emotions as needed, while also being able to help guide and moderate the emotions of others. They can offer support and conversation, often referred to as leadership skills. A few are natural at this level, but for many it is learned. Courses like leadership training and years of reading personal development books are very successful.
Let's look at some setbacks of not learning, then compare. Poor Emotional Awareness when dealing with relationship or work challenges, can lead to abuse, corruption, crime, or self-destruction through addictive behaviours. An individual may regularly feel stressed, angry, aggressive, withdrawn, anxious, depressed, or even suicidal.
Therefore the benefits of learning Emotional Awareness after helping someone to understand their emotional cycle and how it affects 'them' - will be understand why they have these overwhelming emotions, how to manage them, then extend that awareness to others in the form of empathy. They begin to remain calmer, feel less agitated or angry. They find more hope and motivation to keep going when life is tough, and discover more confidence in themselves.
This improved awareness in themselves, and therefore others. It will reduce abuse, neglect, corruption, and improve their career, relationships and social life. The benefits are endless as they continue to grow these new found skills.
Eventually EQ leads to IQ and many may develop excellent leadership skills. Even if they don't take a leadership position in work, it will still vastly improve their life. Daniel Goleman is the leading figure on Emotional Intelligence, with FIVE levels leading to IQ:
Many coaches, courses, books, and programs, teach Emotional Intelligence through leadership training, communication skills, and talk about communication through sales strategies, or customer service training. Public speaking teaches more self-awareness when it comes to presenting yourself to an audience, but none of these address the first two levels - self awareness and managing emotions. That's where I focus, as that's the part that even highly intelligent people are often missing - even in part.
Learning Self Awareness and Managing Emotions, automatically begins to build empathy. Combined, I call this Emotional Awareness - of self and others.
Parenting with emotional awareness starts to pay-it-forward, and benefit the next generation too. Not only do you parenting skills build more trust, but your teen or young adults, will learn how to function in the world more effectively too. That puts them ahead of the majority when it comes to jobs, relationships, and even self-care. Who wouldn't want that for their maturing child?
EQ is not equal to IQ. Even the most intelligent of people with a high IQ Intelligence Quotient, can lack EQ emotional intelligence. These people can become bullish in leadership positions. They tend to be referred to as bosses, or managers rather than leaders. They may be great in high profile jobs then go home to abuse their families. Some people are amazing around other people, then get in their car and become and emotional bulldozer on the road.
So you see, even if you haven't heard of Emotional Awareness vs Emotional Intelligence, you have most likely experienced them in abundance - through the effects of those who lack this vital soft-skill, and those rare people who do possess them.
Emotional awareness is relevant to all walks of life. Do you find your life is different according to your surroundings? you have probably learned to 'fit in' or 'mimic' the emotional status rather than learning to understand your own emotions. You probably find yourself calmer when surrounded by emotionally aware people, while frustrated in other areas of life.
My own son at 19 years old, was only just learning emotional awareness to overcome the overwhelm of emotional dysregulation. Every other strategy used to teach him had been unsuccessful. SMART goals were too much for him, he was a high risk to himself and chronically depressed.
At 28 years old, he is a customer experience leader (team leader). He has his own family, and is one of the most resilient people I know. He's still had many challenges to face up to, but he has become so much stronger, and fully understands when his emotional awareness vs emotional intelligence support his decisions daily.
After all those years of him feeling suicidal - all I needed the right strategy to help him start to understand all the emotional turmoil he was feeling. After years of me seeking help without success, I created the strategy myself. Here it is in my book Brain Unchained, and in my courses on this website.
Click here to go to Brain Unchained
Now there is a way for you do start yours or your teenager's journey with Emotional Awareness. My self-help book Brain Unchained teaches the same strategy that takes you through the emotional cycle.
Using the three stages of the Mood Mentor Model, it builds a clear understanding of emotions from the basics through to emotional intelligence, with dedication and continued learning.
With this book and some adult support, teens even in depression and with neurodivergent barriers, can learn how to break down emotional challenges: Recognised the emotion, the trigger, the choices, and how to find solutions. ultimately how to manage their own emotions.
Especially as many neurodivergent people are visual learners, this book gives them a massive step up in understanding, with rapid transformation, when supported by an adult.
