Sparked by a conversation in a parenting group this week, a photo of a toy vape being held by a baby was put up for discussion. Although I'm talking about photo's here, this applies to videos too. When is setting up childrens photos for laughs, taken too far for comfort?
A few people put laughing faces at the vape toy but most agreed that this was not ok. That toys should not include anything smoking related. The photo was a step too far.
My comment was that, sadly some parents would be likely to buy the toy, just so they could photograph their baby vaping and put it on social media for likes and popularity.
This also got me thinking...
I get that it's cute and funny to dress up children in adult form. They all love being little superheroes and favourite animals. It is funny to see a baby dressed up like their great grandfather with bushy eyebrows - then photograph them together. Where though, do you draw the line on what classes as healthy humour involving children?
There are some pretty awesome photographs and MEME's going around, but there are also some very disturbing ones too. Especially when it starts involving for example, a baby in a Rasta hat, with a stogy, looking completely stoned, or a baby with a finger up and a crude caption.
I get it. It's just humour. I also get that there are different kinds of humour. Verbal, visual, written word, situational, candid moments, set-up, staged, and more, but I'm also thinking of the following points...
1. We all know the classic moment where teenagers hate the family photo album coming out in front of friends, because of their baby photos. Although a baby may be unaware of their role in making others laugh, and I know laughter is crucial to wellbeing, it is not appreciated when those photos are shared later. How will this affect them when they are old enough for someone outside the house to recognise them and tease them about a photo being not only viral online, but being used over and over for various meme's?
2. How will it affect their self esteem to know they have been used for other people's humour? Not saying don't do it, but certainly to consider the type of humour and how far it is taken, for the day they do find out. What if the photo's shared and the MEME's added, are offensive to them? That's pretty personal, especially if in high school years a photo is discovered online and becomes a point of social torment. Could a moment of fun with your baby lead to their social anxiety and depression later on? Again, not saying don't do it, but to be considerate when posting that if you were posting that same photo with yourself in it as a baby - what would you think then? Would you have been happy if your parents did it to you?
3. A good example is a teenager with a photo of their braces, posted around college with a funny saying, would be bullying. That is a form of abuse. At what point does putting any child in a funny situation with photography, become abuse? This may sound a horrendous question but it's definitely one that needs to be considered. Is it possible to subject them to situations that may seem funny to adults, but could terrify them as a child? Embarrass them later? Or leave them feeling ashamed? This could highlight emotional neglect in some families.
4. I have seen some YouTube channels where children are posing as adults for regular social media posts. Some have took part in regular family videos, while others perform in the style of a T.V. channel. This raises questions again about the use of children for entertainment. Are these children being exploited? The sets are immaculate, but it is hard to believe children want to play so unnaturally. Are they being bullied, controlled, forced or coerced into performing? When does it classify as work, or child labour?
I recently saw an advertisement for a recording software. It was advertising old fashioned office work, being replaced by AI that takes notes automatically.
I get why they chose the picture they did, of a baby girl no more than a year old, sitting in a downsized chair, at a downsized desk with an old typewriter, dressed like some 40's office worker with jacket, skirt, short socks and cute patent leather shoes. She really looked the part.
The idea was to create a comparison between old fashioned hard work and their new easy to use software. My issue was not with the advertisers, but the state of the little girl crying and the state she was in while being photographed, clearly distressed.
All babies and children cry at times, and sometimes it creates funny photos, but this little girl didn't seem funny at all. The photograph disturbed me for some reason. Being able to read emotions through expression and body language, I could see the panic and terror in her whole body. Her hands in panic mode, palms open and fingers stretched out. Her torso was tense and her eyes clammed shut, while screaming with tears running down her little cheeks.
A photo shoot can be daunting for a child who is being put in what seems like an alien situation. A child who is a little sad, afraid or uncertain and seeking support from an adult, or feeling anxious, will cry. They may also look for their parent while remaining still, afraid to move. this makes them appear well behaved while internally they are in fear.
Some will feel rejected and alone when away from their parent. Their arms will still hang by their side and their legs dangle where they sit. It's just their facial expression that will be cute or funny at first but they are feeling depression, and grieving the comfort a mother should bring.
The little girl in this photo however had gone beyond that. Her crying expression had one of breathless panic - the type where they cry but can barely pause to breathe. Instead of her legs dangling, they were extended straight forward from the knee with full tension of the shoes. Her arms were the same state, right to her finger tips. Stretched out in sheer panic.
This may have been a momentary reaction at being put down, and for all I know she may have been smiling again seconds later, but my instincts are usually pretty strong. In the moment the photo was taken, this little baby girl was terrified. This is an extreme reaction of the emotional cycle.
As a thank you for reading this far, I've linked a video of funny babies, that are not abusive in any way and genuinely delightful to watch. I hope you enjoy them, and avoid supporting the popularity of abuse through photos and videos going forward.
Back to the main question.
There are many amazing photo's and videos online that make people laugh, but when is it taken too far for the sake of laughs? That's a tough one to answer.
