Do you find it confusing? Let's look at the causes, setbacks and benefits that help you identify if your teenager has addiction vs obsession.
Addiction is mostly about the use of toxins. Obsession is more likely a behaviour that creates self-destruction. Some of these toxins can be internal such as dopamine and hormones, while some obsessions can be healthy. Lets look at the differences of both.
Be aware of moods, times, dietary intake, and behaviours to help emotional needs that are based on addictive behaviour.
Addictive behaviour is mostly associated with substances. Alcohol, drugs, smoking, solvents, and caffeine are top of the list along with sex. It may involve other foods like chocolate, carbs, and fizzy drinks to name a few. Check out these 18 most addictive foods.
Many people think that addiction leads to depression but let's flip that thinking right here. Let's acknowledge that depression, stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem are what leads to addiction.
Addiction usually begins because of an emotional struggle while addiction is the outcome. It is a coping strategy for seeking dopamine that is missing in their daily life, or for coping with the excess hormones. This can vary in boys and girls, especially going through puberty.
Addiction starts as a way to find dopamine, to soothe nerves, and avoid problems they have no solutions for. It give a false sense of mindfulness and relief, from what ever is troubling them. For children this manifests through T.V. games, comics, books, or kicking a ball. There are many signs of emotional struggle but let's focus on the addiction vs obsession.
Addictive highs are usually counterbalanced by depressive lows, outbursts and meltdowns. You see this in smokers who get agitated when they need another cigarette. It is seen in a coffee drinker needing caffeine, an alcoholic who needs a drink and a child who had the T.V. turned off.
Addiction releases chemicals in the brain, associated with dopamine. Children and teenagers who are addicted to gaming, television and mobile phones, get miniature dopamine hits from the sights and sounds, created by their actions. In all addiction, the dopamine is the true addiction they seek. In these small and frequent hits, it numbs the ability to self-actuate happiness. Long term it affects the natural emotional cycle when the root cause of the addiction seeking behaviour is not addressed.
As an occasional coping strategy, screens are a form of decompression. It is not physically, or psychologically harmful to watch television. Lack of exercise or social interaction over months and years does become harmful. It can affect health, social ability, emotional wellbeing, and eventually thy physical brain.
When you can catch addiction early, it is almost always about the ESCAPE from something else. Each child or teenager will have a different behaviour or substance by which they achieve this. they are all individuals, and you know them better than anyone.
If the root cause of their problems is not resolved or worsens, it can lead to them seeking stronger substances. In worst case scenarios, they may collaborate with the wrong friends to achieve this.
Support anything that is healthy for your child or teenager. Encourage positive outcomes without teasing.
A healthy Obsession is about being drawn to something out of a love for it, or out of curiosity. It is an excessive passion for something positive such as cleaning, working out, buying nail polish in every colour, train spotting, you name it, the list goes on forever.
The world is filled with possibilities, for obsessions to watch out for. For teenagers, there are new clothes, comics, a new phone, hair dyes and makeup. There are sports such as football, skating, and adrenaline junkies who ski daring slopes, ride every rollercoaster going and more.
Also be aware of controversial hobbies for example - teens and grown men who love 'My Little Pony'. Healthy example: They collect items, and watch episodes. My Little Pony embodies friendship in a way they admire. It is not harming them or anyone around them, and can create a healthy balance.
Unhealthy example: Embracing a hobby, like the men watching My Little Pony, may begin to cope with trauma. They choose the program to represent what they're missing in life - friendship, acceptance, and love. Being bullied and mocked, will create a deeper escape into the program. This compounds the trauma. When the healthy part starts fading away it is time to address it, what ever the hobby. The severity of how it impacts their daily life can vary depending on various factors. Screen time - watching excessively, budget or spending on collectibles instead of paying for food. Watch out for social life, balance of interests, and reclusive behaviour as signs of unhealthy emotions.
Healthy obsessions are not counteracted with low mood swings, as a result of the obsession. Healthy obsessions are hobbies. Obsessions can still be put down and picked up at will. Family and friends embrace it as 'part of 'personality' and support the passion. This creates healthy goals such as saving for something, or creating achievement. It brings positive social connections, and adds quality to life.
Obsession can in some cases lead to becoming a master or genius. A chess master, sports champions, racing driver, sellable artists etc. can create successful careers from positive obsessions..
Always choose a passive approach, as reprimand can make things worse and add stress instead.
Destructive Obsession is when the obsession or curiosity becomes an emotional NEED that creates negative outcomes for others or themselves. This need results in low moods, tantrums, and is difficult to walk away from.
The word destructive is because it becomes a coping strategy as opposed to an interest - becoming self-destructive in nature. It may involve an act that is socially unacceptable, hurts themselves or others, results in poor choices, or is against the law.
Negative Obsessions then lead into acts like shop lifting, hoarding, joy riding or self destructive acts. Compulsive eating or working out excessively, sometimes goes with addiction of diets, steroids and various supplements. Again this is usually the response behaviour to somethings else going on, such as poor body confidence, peer pressure, emotional neglect, or something else. Finding the root cause is key.
Destructive Obsession can also lead to serious crimes like arson, sexual interests and associated crimes, money fraud, abuse and more with the worst possible outcome being murder.
For this kind of challenge, mentoring is probably more effective once the person is on the way up. It is more likely to be successful once they admit their problem, deal with the root cause, and find the desire to make positive changes. The book Brain Unchained will be more likely to help this person grow their understanding through short lessons and lots of reflective exercises.
Never mock someone for their fears as you may make things worse for them.
Obsession based on fear is a different. For example being obsessed with work due to a fear of failure. Or obsessed with cleanliness because of a fear of germs. Some people are afraid of spiders, snakes, heights, water, and become obsessed with avoiding or overcoming these things, filling their life with anxiety, panic and dread.
This fear may have come from some past experience in person, something seen, something heard as a child, watched on T.V. or read in a book. Another cause of fear-based obsession is by copying. Fear can be copied from parents or siblings. Other influences such as a film can also play a role.
Children are often afraid of monsters, and parents have to search the bedroom at night to prove they are not there. For some children, these levels of anxiety can continue through teens into adulthood. This can be for many different reasons, and often associated with trauma.
For these kinds of obsession and fear, therapy is usually quite successful. Mentoring can also help people understand their emotions, the root causes, and find strategies for making life more manageable going forward.
What ever anyone is going through, resolving emotions is as important as resolving their habits.
IMPORTANT SUPPORT ADVICE - Never put yourself in danger.
Never say "You are addicted." or "You're obsessed." They need to acknowledge it themselves. Saying this can be more harmful. It may drive them deeper into negative behaviour, or drive a wedge between you. Once that happens, it is harder to reach them emotionally and support them.
If addiction vs obsession is affecting someone's life seriously - Listen to their emotions, and divert from the conversation about the addiction. Try to help them see why, not what they are doing. Encourage them to see their G.P. or seek other professional help so they can resolve their emotions.
If there is a threat to life, or danger to others, call police, social workers, or crime-stoppers to seek advice. Never put yourself in danger.
